Norm from Cheers, played by George Wendt, is one of the most brilliant and recognizable characters in TV history.

Here are some of his quotes…

“How’s life treating you Norm?”"Like it caught me sleeping with its wife.”"Women. Can’t live with ‘em….pass the beer nuts.”

“What’s going down, Normie?”"My butt cheeks on that bar stool.”

“What’s the story Norm?”"Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer.”

“How’s about a beer, Norm?”"That’s that amber sudsy stuff, right? I’ve heard good things about it!”

“What’s going on Mr. Peterson?”"The question is what’s going in Mr. Peterson? A beer please, Woody.”

“Can I pour you a beer Mr. Peterson?”"A little early isn’t it, Woody?”"For a beer?”"No, for stupid questions.”

It doesn’t matter what temperature the room is, it’s always room temperature.
I once put instant coffee in a microwave and went back in time.
Last year for Christmas, I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier…. I thought I’d put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
I woke up this morning and couldn’t find my socks, so I called information. She said they were behind the couch.
In my house there’s this light switch that doesn’t do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, “Cut it out.”
I xeroxed a mirror.
I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.
When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, “What do you need?”
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m six I’ll be ninety.
Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn’t happen.
When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child….eventually.
I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast at any time”. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

More on the genius Steven Wright here.